Contrary to the majority of the teaching many of us received, Proverbs 31 is NOT a checklist!
Using this passage to create a to-do list, doesn’t do justice to the type of literature nor does it reveal the heart of God for women.
Join me as we consider the genre of Proverbs and the type of woman she was to discover a better way to view this chapter.
Every culture has an ideal woman, yet these ideals create a picture that is impossible for any one person to fulfill. As I talk with numerous women, many of them find themselves trapped beneath cultural ideals.
If you were raised evangelical, perhaps the ideals included some of these things:
- Womanhood is defined by marriage & children.
- Stay-at-Home-Mom
- Multiple children (more than 2)
- Homeschools
- Quietly supports her husband & always defers to him
- Cooks, cleans (but doesn’t go overboard)
- Thrifty
- Granola/Crunchy
- Sews, knits, crochets, etc.
- Financially dependent
- Carries the entire mental load
- Volunteering
- Regular church attendance
- Sweetly feminine & makes herself small
- Minimal education (or doesn’t pursue use of education outside homemaking)
- Well behaved children
- Absolutely NO:
- Career
- Personal ambitions that would take her away from house duties.
This can be even more compounded and confusing when you consider the ideals of womanhood from the culture at large:
- Young & beautiful
- Fashionable (or dresses well at least)
- Physically fit
- Skin care routine
- Financially independent
- Building her own wealth
- Have a fantastic career
- Also have an amazing family
- Practice gentle parenting
- Self-care
- Knowledgeable about the latest issues
- Politically involved
- Practices her freedom
- Be either “woke” or “against woke-ness”
- Hustle culture
- Pursuing her dreams
- Have everything under control
- Therapy & mental health
- Expresses herself freely
Maybe you’ve even been told these ideals are Biblical, which implies sin if the ideals are not carried out. If you’re not a homeschooling stay-at-home-mom > sin. Not thrifty, granola, loves cooking > Sin! Not quite demure & soft-spoken > SIN!
Our goal in this series is to reframe the very idea of IDEAL WOMANHOOD by considering Proverbs 31 in its historical context. I want to lift a burden from your shoulders—straighten that which is crooked, and paint for you a picture of God’s heart for women.
You see, Proverbs 31 is not a checklist showing the to-do list of a godly woman. It’s not a picture of the ideal wife of the Old Testament. It doesn’t even imply women are supposed to be “keepers of the home.”
Proverbs 31 is best interpreted as a culturally bound description of a wealthy woman with high social status that reveals God’s delight in varied expressions of womanhood.
Proverbs 31 is not a checklist, it’s wisdom literature.
This chapter about a woman who some have dubbed “The Excellent Wife” is part of the book of Proverbs which is the pinnacle of Hebrew wisdom literature.
Proverbs teaches how one can walk in God’s wisdom in practical life situations. It is descriptive, showcasing examples and common truths. Many of the wisdom principles are generally true, but cannot be guaranteed. Proverbs by there nature communicate that B usually follows A. They are not promises that B will always come from A.
The book of Proverbs in the Bible is a collection of wise sayings handed down from older generations to the younger. Most of them point to what an “ideal” man would look like, as well as the “foolish” or “slothful” man.
Proverbs 31 paints a picture of what the “ideal” woman, typifying Lady Wisdom, would look like for a specific status of woman at a particular point in Israel’s history. This poem is aspirational literature, in that it gives a specific cultural example of womanhood.
We get to learn from this wisdom, then apply it to our own contexts. This is not a 1-to-1 application (she worked with textiles so we must knit or crochet to be godly), but as wisdom principles guiding us towards what God considers a happy life.
Proverbs 31 is an acrostic poem. Each verse starts with the next letter of the Hebrew alphabet. This means there is little apparent overall structure. Instead, these verses are a series of vignettes that give us an overall picture of a specific woman.
If Proverbs 31 is not a checklist, how do we view her?
As Lady Wisdom?
Some claim she is Lady Wisdom. I would argue instead that she is a composite of cultural, and status bound womanly ideals.
“The Woman of Strength is not a figure for wisdom. While Lady Wisdom personifies wisdom, the Woman of Strength typifies it” (Fox).
To interpret the Proverbs 31 woman as Lady Wisdom (or Israel, or the Church), one must adopt an allegorical interpretation.
However, “in real allegory, something must disturb the surface reading and reveal its inadequacy, so as to cue the reader to shift to a different level of interpretation” (Fox).
I do not see the hints or “disturbances” in Proverbs 31 to point to allegorical interpretation. She is idealized, yes. But not impossible.
Therefore, I prefer a straightforward reading of the text. Textually, there is no reason to move into allegory when much can be gleaned from treating the figure as a real woman (or composite there of).
As a woman of her time?
The areas the Proverbs 31 Woman focuses on are (mostly) the areas of feminine domain in the Ancient Near East.
Women usually concentrated their efforts in the following areas:
- Food
- Helping with planting & harvest
- Grinding grain
- Cooking
- Manufacturing (primarily for home use)
- Textiles
- Containers (pottery, baskets)
- Building of ovens & looms
- Baby-care
- Nursing
- Childcare of weaned children was likely a communal effort of the entire household. As the children were old enough they’d be included in and educated in the various jobs the members of the household had.
- Maintaining their social network & helping neighbors
She is not your average, run of the mill peasant woman. The Proverbs 31 Woman was an aristocratic woman with power and wealth.
She likely was composed somewhere during either the United Kingdom period under Solomon (Iron Age II) or the Return period after Israel came back from exile. (Persian age).
This poem likely describes either:
1) the type of woman a king should find for his wife, or 2) the deceased wife of a rich nobleman.
Either way, nothing in Proverbs 31 describes the typical day or life of the average peasant woman.
Recognizing her great wealth helps us interpret the passage. We must consider how it would naturally apply to the original hearers (wealthy and poor), and then afterwards to us.
Since Proverbs 31 is not a checklist, we can consider this description as an ideal but not normative.
She showcases the values of a certain period of Israel’s history, exemplifying what a wise woman of valor looks like to them.
Perhaps this proverb was written about a real person after her death as an Encomium (eulogy) to honor her. Perhaps Proverbs 31 is a composite of several women of valor tied together.
Whether she was a real singular woman or a composite figure, the image of this woman is the highlight reel of her whole life, not a day-in-the-life expectation.
She is from a high socio-economic class and has a significant amount of privilege, which means the average peasant woman would not be able or expected to accomplish the same types of things she does.
Yet, the description of her, gives us a peek into that culture’s perception of ideal womanhood – what they thought women should aspire to be like.
Proverbs 31 has NEVER been a checklist.
Even when it was written, only women with the exact right circumstances could even imagine checking all the boxes.
Proverbs as a whole were written to give examples of wise living and general rules for life. They want the hearer to learn wisdom so that they can apply it to their own particular situation.
The descriptions in Proverbs 31 are the same. This is aspirational wisdom literature, to encourage us into wise living. It is not a list of things we must do.
They function to paint a picture of what wise living looked like for a wealthy, aristocratic woman.
We, who have a different set of circumstances, learn from that picture and make wise choices for our lives.