When Christmas Doesn’t Feel Merry

You were created for paradise. 

Our souls know we were not created for a broken world.  We long for Eden intensely, especially when refrains of “peace on earth, goodwill toward men” drift through the air.

The deep desire of your soul for connection, safety, love, and peace point to a greater reality.  Jesus does not intend to leave his people in a place of ruin and suffering.  Yet, for many, pain and difficulty are the day-to-day reality.  This is why we need Emmanuel – God with us.

Our need began in the beginning, at the Fall (Genesis 2-3), when everything unraveled in an instant, tearing away true life from the souls of Adam and Eve (and thereby all of us).  Yet, in that moment, God answered, promising a Messiah, a Savior would come to reorder the world, and to create everything anew (Genesis 3:15).

Jesus’ birth answers the groans of all creation, yours included (Romans 8:19-23).  He saw all the pain, and grief and suffering resulting from the brokenness of sin, and came to start the process of restoration.  That which is broken will be restored, the wounded healed.   The problem of sin, brokenness, suffering, and injustice solved once and for all.

The results of His coming leave us who believe in Him in the oft-time uncomfortable already-not-yet, where we have the final promises of restoration but do not see it playing out completely in our lives, hearts, and circumstances.  So, in the difficulties of each season, we cling to the Savior who came at Christmas and His promises to bring life anew.  Our souls yearn for the destiny He is planning for us, while we wait.

Look directly at your pain and suffering (no matter how “trivial” it seems).

To bask in the comfort of Jesus this Christmas, allow yourself to acknowledge the brokenness of the world and your own soul.  Don’t gloss over the pain, throwing tinsel and glitter till it shines.  Be honest with yourself.

Call it what it is – name it. Examine the hurt.  Allow (or force) yourself to stop long enough to acknowledge what you are feeling and why.

For many, our natural tendency is to gloss over our suffering and sin.  Perhaps, a coat of royal icing and glitter will distract us from the pain underneath.  If we occupy ourselves with Hallmark movies and caroling, maybe we won’t feel the ache deep in our hearts.  Maybe we’ll be able to enjoy the festivities without having to look beneath the surface.

Yet, we can only walk in truth when we acknowledge our pain, suffering, hurt, and brokenness.  Denial keeps us from grief, and thereby, from the truth of the Gospel.

3. Allow yourself grieve.

We are created for beautiful perfection and harmony.  Our bodies long for an Eden we cannot create.  Grieve with me.  Give yourself permission to let yourself feel the pain.

Take time away from the hustle and bustle to let yourself mourn the things you’ve lost (whether expectations, dreams, hopes, or persons).  You don’t have to live in grief all season, but let yourself feel it.  Mourn the brokenness of your world both externally and internally.

4. Embrace your Savior.

I already feel so weighed down at times with “guilt” (“mom guilt,” “good Christian girl guilt,” “the I-should guilt”) being told I’m doing anything more wrong seems like a crushing blow {6}.  I don’t want to look my idolatry and sin in the face and speak its name aloud.  So, I struggle with repentance and being reminded of my sin.

However, our experience of joy depends upon our humble, willing repentance of the tiny (and large) idols plaguing our every-moment.  Our hearts need to repent, because the person who is forgiven much, can then love Jesus much (Luke 7:47). If we keep our sin in secret and do not expose it to the light (Ephesians 5:8-14), our heart’s desire for the Lord will grow stagnant and stale.

God absolutely delights in saving and sanctifying sinners – fortunately, that is exactly what we are! (1 Timothy 1:15; 2:4)

“You don’t need to unburden or collect yourself then come to Jesus.  Your very burden is what qualifies you to come.” {7}  Jesus doesn’t recoil when we bring our sins, sorrows, and sufferings to Him.  His very nature compels Him to draw near to our pain and brokenness – to walk with us in it, to bear our burdens, to heal. “He cannot bear to hold back!” {7}