My husband commented at lunch today, “Your mood is so different than it was over the weekend. You were so happy and loving life then. But, when you don’t get enough sleep – you hate everything! Today, it’s all horrible.”
He wasn’t wrong.
Sleep is one of my biggest struggles. If I don’t get enough, I become deeply angry with the world and anyone who dared wake the dragon.
And (un)fortunately the Lord has taken away my control in this area, which probably increases my frustration.
When I was single and controlled my schedule, if I was tired. Then, it was my own fault, and I could nap later.
Now, I’m a mom of a toddler and preschooler . . . . . HA!
My oldest didn’t sleep through the night until he was 2 years old (and by “didn’t sleep through the night” I mean he was up 5-6 times a night, every night AND waking up at 5 am daily. *yawn*). My youngest has always been a much better sleeper than her brother, and started sleeping through the night (completely) about a year ago at around 16 months (before that she was only up 2-3 times a night, which I considered ok-ish), and slept until 7 am every day.
It was BLISS! I could get 7 hours a night, usually with a 5-6 hour uninterrupted stretch of sleep.
BUT . . . then Baby Girl moved to a toddler bed and wouldn’t go to sleep unless I was in the room. And if she woke in the night, I would have to go back in to stay until she fell asleep again. AND she started waking up at 5:15-5:30am.
Mama, has NOT been happy.
Yet, in the middle of these strong emotions, and difficult circumstances, I keep hearing the phrase, “This too is grace for you.”
Exhaustion and difficulties are evidence of God’s grace.
Every circumstance of our lives is given to us by God, by His grace. Because He desires for us to love Him above all things, He is at work transforming us into His image. Therefore, He allows difficult circumstances to enter our lives – sometimes as a season, and sometimes permanently.
Every circumstance that forces us to realize our spiritual thirst for Him and to run to Him is grace.
Maybe, your baby has you up a million times a night…. this too is grace for you.
Maybe, your husband has to work longer hours than usual… this too is grace for you.
Maybe, your emotions are all over the place and you can’t find that internal “peace” you long for…. this too is grace for you.
Seeing God’s grace in suffering is a skill we can learn.
The Apostle Paul was an expert at seeing this grace. After going through very difficult circumstances and great personal suffering Paul said,
“I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:11b-13, ESV).
LEARNED.
The only person who ever managed contentment the first time around was Jesus.
Paul didn’t wake up one day perfectly content for the rest of his life. Like you and I, he struggled and thereby learned contentment. God put him through tremendously amazing experiences and through the deepest agony of suffering. This too was grace for Paul. Through these things, he experienced a strengthening from Jesus only possible because of his suffering.
Jesus told Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9, ESV).
Especially when I’m low on sleep, this is comforting.
Jesus’ power isn’t made perfect by my good attitude and my gentle parenting of my children.
No, His power is made perfect in weakness…. Partly because in our weakness we must cling to Him with a desperation that our successes do not require.
So, dear one, as you listen to the still small voice whisper in your ear saying, “Grace, grace, grace, grace.” Allow your heart to slowly change.
It’s not an overnight shift.
We don’t suddenly jump out of bed on sleep-deprived mornings with joy and a song. But we can start to see those mornings differently.
Learn with me to stand and confess our bad attitudes and sins rather than stew over life’s discomforts and frustrations. Let us choose together to practice adoration of our loving Father. Post scripture reminders around your house to help fix your eyes on Jesus
In difficult circumstances, God grants you the grace of seeing Him in new ways.
… and this too is grace for you….
And if you’re looking for a little more help seeing and savoring your Savior in this difficult season, I recommend the Rejoice Always gratitude journal. With specific exercises to retrain your mind and focus your affections on Jesus’ character, using this journal can help reveal where God’s grace is evident in your life!
